I never expected quality, although it’s baffling why you’d make such a dull, predictable, generic movie with such a talented cast. It’s confused, weirdly paced, about 30 minutes too long and the tone and focus fly all over the place, when there’s no need. I completely accept there’s no need for it to be Oscar worthy, but the big screen introduction of what’s become one of Marvel’s strongest properties at least deserved a film that knew what it was. Is it a superhero movie? Anti-hero? Horror? Scifi? Who’s its audience? Do kids really like scripting this bland and obvious? I’m not saying there’s nothing enjoyable – Tom Hardy is very easy on the eye, even when he’s been cast in a movie whose script is beneath him, but one of the most enjoyable moments comes in the final act, which is a long wait.

There’s an entertainment factor here it’s true, but there’s nothing to get invested in. Hardy’s Eddie Brock is a douchebag, but a stereotypically cheeky chappy douchebag, his relationship with Michelle Williams isn’t believable, and Riz Ahmed’s malevolent Carlton Drake is little more than a convenient deus ex machina to get the Venom symbiote introduced into the almost-MCU. Reid Scott’s Dr Dan Lewis is even more convenient – he’s a brilliant comedy actor but a completely improbable supporting character, and comedy with a character like Venom needs a steady hand on script and directorial duties, which doesn’t happen here. Ruben Fleischer delivers an energetic film, and some moments with the symbiote are legitimately funny, but he frequently takes the path of least resistance – how long was that car chase and what did it add to the story? Why does Hardy’s Brock stay two-dimensional? Even the threat posed by Ahmed’s Drake is dull, and there’s never much of a story involving Brock, Drake or Venom that really takes off.

Maybe the clash with Woody Harrelson’s Carnage will set Venom 2 alight, but I’m not sure. At least things are likely to happen, which became a problem with Spider-Man: Far From Home, but even a film for kids deserves character development, which really doesn’t take place here. The person most short changed here I think is Michelle Williams, whose character is nothing more than window dressing, for no good reason other than to amplify the testosterone fest of the rest of the film. I really hope for better in the sequel.